dimanche 15 février 2015

Wheeere have you beeenn- for 4 mooonths? (for 4 mo-o-onths mo-o-ons- mo-o-onths?)

Well, dearest Rihanna, I uh.

Well I guess it's been a long 4 months. Lotta work, lotta pressure, lack of inspiration, zero interest in doing anything, lotta stress, and really, I'd been feeling quite low...
I had a bit of an intense phase there of not wanting to do squat. Just wanted to stay in bed all day and wait until the day was over so that I could finally sleep again. I felt totally worthless and ashamed of feeling so sorry for myself all the time, for not managing to acknowledge the fact that my life is actually pretty great! I dunno- I just couldn't work, and I couldn't admit to the people around me that I was just wasting all my time, so I would just tell them that I did the things that I actually didn't do. It took a while before I finally started pushing myself to be productive. Not easy, but it really did help to get my mind on other things- felt good to actually achieve stuff.
I'm really thankful for the people in my life who have helped me feel like I actually matter!! I still have some more work to do though.
Too many wonderful incredible amazing people I know who are going through mopey times right now. What I had was super mild. Ugh. Please please please keep an eye out for everybody around you!! It's really important that you show that you care about them. Whoever they are, whether you know them or not!! seriously, it does alot of good.
Also, when you're sad, I find that it helps to draw people that are smiling.


Anyways, I'm doing better now!! I have a ton of stuff to be grateful for, so now that my mind is (mostly) out of that dark rut, why waste my time being depressed about useless twaddle! Ay! There's plenty to be happy about:)

Oooh allow me to share my new mantra with you.

*sigh* oh yes. Poetry. Kind words uttered by my lovely boyfriend. Heh I'm pretty lucky.

This here is gonna be a loaded post, so sit tight hombre whilst I submerge you with things I've made here and there since October!! Some of these things are only partly finished, so pls bare